Where it all started

It started when I was two years old. I had broken my legs six week earlier and I had just gotten my casts off. I was with my grandparents, and had just gone out for ice cream. My Grandma was getting her hair cut, and my Grandpa and I were in the car waiting. He sadly passed away right in front of me, and the combination of that, and my Grandmother’s reaction, was understandably very scary for someone that age.

My life with ptsd

Hello Everyone. My name is Ryan, and this is my story of living and dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder aka PTSD.

The aftermath

I don’t remember all of the details of what happened after this traumatic event, but I was told that it had a tremendous effect on me. My Mom told me I had nightmares for months afterward, I would go from happy and laughing, to crying uncontrollably out of nowhere. Little did I know, this was only the beginning of a long, painful journey through life of dealing with this memory haunting me.

Ways i have tried coping

I have tried different methods to cope with my PTSD, some worked, some did not.

  1. Medication did not seem to help

  2. Therapy helped a little bit

  3. But I felt that talking about it, with people I trust was the biggest help to me

What triggers my ptsd

Over time, I began to realize that nothing in particular triggers the memory of that day. I found that most often, it happens when my mind wanders and the memory unfortunately comes back to me. I tend to get quiet, I try to avoid talking to people, and I get to be on much higher alert in my surroundings. Luckily, my friends and family know this, and know to leave me be when I am in this state of mind.

I have also felt that I become more vulnerable when there is a loss of someone I care about. The memory has a higher likelihood of coming back, during a time of pain from a loss of life.

How am i doing now?

Today I am doing much better, but I’m afraid the memory will haunt me for the rest of my life. With that being said, I have a great support system around me. I have a loving and supportive girlfriend who is always there for me. I have a loving and supportive family, as well as friends who understand my pain and struggle, and are there to always lend a hand. That is my goal with this site, is to be there for others who may not have someone, or may feel they have no-one. We are here for you!